Dating as a gay or lesbian person in today’s world can sometimes be challenging. Not only do you have to figure out if someone you meet is interested in you or not, but you also have to figure out if they share the same romantic preferences as you. On top of that, the community operates differently when it comes to relationships than the straight community. There’s a reason if you click around Google for a while you’ll see tons of articles outlining why gay or lesbian dating is so hard.
Thankfully, online dating has done wonders in helping our community to find better matches in a much easier and less judgmental environment. Most of us are already super forward when it comes to dating, but the online realm takes this to a new level.
If you’re someone who has just come out to your friends and family or you’re still not fully open about things, dating can be extremely hard. While you work to figure out who you are as a person, it can be challenging to try and bring someone else into that equation. While it’s hard, it might be necessary to help you figure out who you really are and what you really want out of life. Significant others of all seriousness levels can play an integral role in our journey to define to ourselves and the world who we are most comfortable as.
Finding a Site to Fit Your Needs
All of us have different goals when it comes to online dating. Some of us are looking for someone to have a good time with and nothing else. Some of us are looking for that special someone to spend the rest of our lives with. And then some of us are not totally sure what we’re looking for as we try and figure ourselves out. The good news is that there are lots of different online dating sites for gay and lesbian people that cater to these different wants and needs.
Some of the bigger online dating sites will cater to all three of these. These sites are a great starting point if you aren’t positive which group you fall into (which is why most of the sites we recommend cover all the bases).
What is important, though, before you get started is knowing exactly what you’re looking for. What’s this going to do for you? It’s going to ensure that you don’t waste your own time and that you don’t waste anyone else’s. It’s also going to ensure that you don’t accidentally break someone else’s heart in the process because you aren’t completely clear on what it is that you’re looking for.
The gay and lesbian communities do a fantastic job of being supportive and helping each other out. With the additional struggles that we have to go through in day to day life, it’s nice to know that we’re going to be there for each other. In respect for the rest of the community, take a few minutes and figure out what you’re looking for when it comes to dating. If you’re not looking for something serious, that’s ok. If you’re only looking to find the love of your life, that’s ok too.
All that we’re saying is that it’s important that you know where you stand and you properly communicate that to the rest of the community as you get started dating.
Tips for Gay and Lesbian Daters to Succeed
We wanted to give you a few simple tips that we think can help you succeed as a gay or lesbian single in today’s world. Some of these tips are going to be things you may already know, and some of them may not apply to you. The idea is to give you as much knowledge as we have from our experts to try and help you have the best online dating experience possible.
Understand Where People Are
Sometimes people are at different stages in their gay or lesbian journey. While you may be completely comfortable with who you are and what you want out of life, there tend to be quite a few people in the online dating community who are not. For a lot of these people, they use online dating to try and help them figure out who they are and what they want out of life.
This means that if you’re going to interact and potentially date people at this stage, you’re going to have to be patient. Think back to the struggles and thoughts that you went through or had. Remember how everything felt and realize that they may be going through all of that and more at this point. Don’t be pushy and allow them to figure things out at their own pace.
If this sounds like something you aren’t interested in, then make sure you only date people that are fully comfortable with where they are at. There’s nothing that says you have to try and date every single person that joins an online dating site.
Be Yourself from the Start
While you may feel the urge to suppress who you are in other areas, the gay and lesbian online dating community is not a place that you have to do this. You’re going to be surrounded 100% by like-minded people who are just like you. This means you can open up and be the 100% version of you. (We think you should do this all the time, but we get it if it’s hard).
What this is going to do is make your online dating experience that much better. You’re going to meet better matches that understand you better and are better-suited for you. If you put on some sort of fake persona, you’re going to end up meeting people that like that persona and aren’t a great fit for you. Do yourself a favor and come out loud and proud as who you are from the get-go. It’s going to make the entire experience that much more fun and also more successful.
Should You Pick a Mainstream Site or a Gay and Lesbian Dedicated Dating Site?
We get this question a lot. Should you join your run of the mill online dating site or a site that is specifically catering to gay and lesbian people? The answer is that you’re probably going to be able to have success on both, but you’re going to have much more success on a dedicated site. On the mainstream sites, the majority of people that join are going to be straight. This is fine if you are bisexual, but is severely going to limit the dating pool if you are gay or lesbian only.
While the total number of people signed up will be less on gay or lesbian dedicated sites, 100% of them are going to be potential matches. This means that it is probably a no-brainer that you should at least take some time to check out the dedicated sites. Most of the sites have some form of free trial that lets you get in there and poke around a bit. Take advantage of that on these sites (and on the mainstream sites) and see where you see more that you’re interested in.
Remember, it doesn’t take hundreds of people to make a site worth it; it just takes one.