Oh burn!!! You were blind sighted and now you are in the friend zone and you’re not even sure what went wrong or how it happened, right? You thought you did everything right and she or he came back and said they think you’re better off as “just friends.” This is a difficult blow for someone who thought they were out on the field making plays, only to realize they never even got to leave the locker room.
When first getting to know someone through online dating you need to make sure your actions and words are in alignment with the results you truly want. You don’t need to confess your undying love for the other person on the second date (that would be cray cray anyways), but you do need to make your intentions known. Don’t shy away from your feeling out of fear of rejection.
We will give you some pointers to help guide you through online dating to keep you off the friend zone bench and in the relationship game.
When it comes to online dating you must tell your potential match what you are and are not looking for. If you are open to a serious relationship but you’re not looking for something casual, or vice versa, you need to let your potential match know this. Be forward with what your intentions are when it comes to online dating.
When a woman is seeking a serious dating relationship, and the guy only wants a casual fling, this spells out a recipe for disaster. Surely someone will be hearing those infamous words, “it’s not you, it’s me… I think we should be… just friends.” Boom. Instant friend zone status. It happens to the best of us.
Being forward doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk about it, just let the other person know where you’re at. Don’t lead someone on if you know it doesn’t have the potential in your eyes, or if you know you really don’t want the same things.
An important part of ensuring you don’t get benched from playing in the game is to be flirty. Being flirtatious is crucial throughout the entire life of a relationship, you should never lose the flirty spark.
In the beginning stages of a relationship flirting is like the fuel needed to keep your vehicle (relationship) moving forward. Without that flirtatious spark, without fuel, you will likely be stranded on the side of the road wishing you had opted to pay that 9 dollars a month extra for roadside assistance.
Not only do you need to be aware of your own feelings and needs in a relationship to communicate with clear intentions, you also need to be aware of the other person’s feelings. How engaged in the relationship and spending time with you are they? Do you seem to be making more of an effort than they are? Relationships are partnerships in effort.
A quote we love is “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option” -Maya Angelou. How true is this? Remember to be aware of the other person’s body language, do they get weird when you try to hold their hand or touch them in any sort of way? Be mindful of how they introduce you, do they always refer to you as their friend? If so, perhaps it is time to wake up and smell the roses, they may have put you in the friend zone.
Be honest with yourself about the engagement level of the other person. Do they take 3 days to return a text message, or do they get back to you with one to two hours tops no matter what they are doing? We get it, they’re hot… but… you still need to pay attention to the red flags. If the referee throws up a flag, then pay attention and address it.
The Wrap Up
Not every online dating match is going to be a match made in heaven, we get it. Be open and honest with your communication and be forward with what you want instead of simply hoping for something to happen, or for things to go your way. Hope is not a strategy.
Remember to be flirtatious with your online date and pay attention to their words and actions as well so you have a proper gauge on how the game is going. Check back to the scoreboard regularly to see how your effort is matching theirs, or if you are leading in points. These helpful tips will should help you to avoid the trouble of getting stuck in the friend zone.