What is Ghosting? Online Dating Advice

BooOOOoooo! Ok, we’re not talking about that kind of ghost. We’re talking about people who are either too flaky to have a real relationship with someone, or perhaps they’re unable to just say “I’m not interested in you.” What is ghosting in online dating, how does it typically happen, and how can you use it to your advantage yourself? Read on to learn a little more about this modern phenomenon known as ghosting.

Cup of coffee with a ghost drawn in it

What is Ghosting?

Ghosting is defined as when a person suddenly and unexpectedly cuts off all communication with a person they’ve been seeing. They’ll avoid their messages, flirts, and any other forms of interaction that may have been established, such as on social media accounts. The potential match literally goes silent and becomes unable to be reached by the other party. It’s confusing, frustrating, and a really bad tactic (usually) to use when you’re dating online.

The Truth About Ghosting

There are times while seeing someone that you actually might want to employ ghosting techniques – but be careful because this can not only confuse someone, it can also really hurt someone’s feelings if they genuinely like you. In online dating, there are times when someone comes off as creepy or maybe even abusive. In these going-nowhere-situations is when ghosting is perfectly appropriate to use. Ghost the person in lieu of reporting them to the online matchmaker reporting system, which can always be your next step in removing a total creep from your activity feed.

How Do You Know If You’ve Been Ghosted?

So how exactly do you know you’ve been ghosted? And how much do you have to worry about this happening in an online dating site? While this odd phenomenon does occur, it’s really unlikely to occur, especially if you’re using one of the best dating sites that we recommend, such as eHarmony, Elite Singles, or Christian Mingle. If you’re talking to someone that seems to have a genuine attraction, and you’ve been talking for a little while (like a couple weeks or more), then the odds of being ghosted are really slim.

Tinder-esque Type Dating Sites

On “swipe style” sites that focus on quick-hit connections or if you’ve only chatted a handful of times with someone, the odds of being ghosted definitely go up. Some of these sites don’t verify their members as closely as the more trusted online dating sites, so it’s likely you’ll find people who could be catfishing (a subject for a whole other article!) or potential matches who just aren’t as serious into finding a true love match. If your desire is to find lasting, genuine love; then you need to sign up with a site that has a more long-term theme to their matchmaking.

While even the big name matchmaking sites will sometimes have unreliable, disingenuous people signed up, you’re more likely to find potential matches that share the same intention of creating a genuine relationship. 

Have fun, flirt, and mingle – but always remember that it takes a little while to truly know someone. Use the powerful technology to communicate and get to know someone really well, especially before giving out any personal information. If your chosen online dating site offers video chat, like on eHarmony, then use these additional tools to guarantee that you’ve found a real person who won’t even think to ghost you.